Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
