Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
