Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I miss Bob Barker.

(808): View more from Hawaii

Yeah, more like Douche Carey...

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(904): View more from Florida

Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

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(404): View more from Georgia

And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful

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(240): View more from Maryland

We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

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(720): View more from Colorado

I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours

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(502): View more from Kentucky

We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.

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