People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
