That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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