just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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