I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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