are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
