Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize