Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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