about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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