doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize