omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
