It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize