Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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