bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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