Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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