Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
