he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize