I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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