Jerry, you need to find god
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
