fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
