The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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