ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
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LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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