I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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