hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
