i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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