No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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