Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
