I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Who died my cat blue again?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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