if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
