It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
