Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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