They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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