About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
