She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
