Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
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I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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