and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
