Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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