Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize