who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
why is half of my head shaved?
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