After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
