god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
