they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
