p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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