I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
