if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
