Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Soap is not a condiment
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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