I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
