So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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