Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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