ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
