you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
