Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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