You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
