go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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