i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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