I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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